Why?

Why? That's all I need to know. Put your damn pride away and just tell me WHY you freakin piece of shit!!!!!!!!!

The right time re-visited...

Today I had a conversation with my older sister and she was telling me how Jason was saying the time will never be right, that there will always be an excuse to postpone something. Then I was thinking about it and I suppose there is no right time, but I told her that there is always a better time. Even though the better time may still not be the right time it may be better than doing something on a whim versus thinking and planning it through. So there you go... there is no right time for anything, but there can always be a better time. Right? Haa haa.

Exercise/Diet:
I am on week six (day 37) back on my diet and exercise routine. This week by far seems harder than last... will it only get worse? :o(

On a more happier note, Rathdara called me today from work and I was thinking there might be something wrong because he had only been in work for about 15 minutes or so. I picked up the call and he had great news, he told me he got a raise. I am so happy for him, things are finally turning around for him after about 2 years of struggling, things are definitely starting to look a lot better.

The Time Will Never Be Right...

Lately I have felt like that everything I do is just not at the right time, but is there really a right time for everything... in fact, is there ever a right time for anything?

Hopefully this next month or so my troubled life will pull together slowly. Everything is not going in the order I planned but it is looking optimistic. To be honest, I may have acted on impulse on several things I have done and that should have been more clearly thought out, but what is life without struggles? A happy one or an ignorant one? That I will never know for I clearly have chosen the path with struggles that lay before me.

Now the more I think about it I believe I was very ignorant in the past. To think that I would lead a happy life with no worries because up until 2008, that is how life was. I was on the road to success and I was happy about everything in my life and it all came tumbling down. I think I told my older sister this once before, long ago.

I suppose the great thing about falling down is the process of pulling yourself back up. So cliche, but now that I am living this cliche, the more I believe it. I feel that once I am back on my own two feet and have a clear idea of what I would like to do, I will look back and realized this experience has made me an even more humble and appreciative person. Not to mention strong-willed and determined, or maybe I am just feeling sorry for myself and trying to make things seem a little better when everything is in the shitter.

Something positive is my exercise habits. I am in week five or continuous workouts with 1 day break in each week. To tell you the truth I am getting a little more lazy than usual and I am not feeling the same vibe as when I first started. The adrenaline to work out and the motivation to just get off my ass is slowly dwindling away. I suppose the hard part is just getting off my ass and just doing it! Hee hee. I am hoping to lose 30-40 more pounds by May/June of 2012. I am really hoping I will be able to do this and maintain the weight. I checked my weight currently and I am still considered obese... this is so devastating after all the hard work I have done. I guess it's good I am not morbidly obese anymore or at like severe health risk. I can do this... 13 months 30-40 pounds!! =)